... and converts to Islam. His new radio program will feature recitations from the Koran.

Did you hear the joke about the Jewish Nazi? He killed himself in the temple! Oy veh!

I remember during the Iowa caucuses, interviews with the democratic party members went something like this: "I'm voting for John Kerry because it seems like other people would vote for him." Other people!? Who would you vote for?! Now we have a candidate from Massachusettes who couldn't carry a southern state.

Bush supporters say they like his direct, plain speech, especially in the debates. Kerry seems like a performer -- always bellowing as if on stage. Sure, he's a better rhetoritician, but that's not what people want. People want a plain-spoken candidate.

The guy who should have ran, Howard Dean, gets shot down for this infamous scream. I saw him on an interview with Bill Maher recently. He was handsome. He was charming. He was well spoken, and plain spoken. Why the hell wasn't he running? Instead, the democrats gave us Mr. Rogers. A safe, nice candidate. Please. This is a guy who refused to defend his Vietnam record against the Swift Boat Liars for 3 weeks in August at the behest of his advisors. What?! Who the hell are those advisors? They cost you the presidency.