I just coined this humorous nickname after a roundly reviled slashdot editor posted a story people didn't like. I'm so clever. So as not to burn karma, I posted my clever invention anonymously under inflammatory replies! But I still need credit, so here I am. Exposing myself. Again.

Candy magnate Willie Wonka has been arrested on several charges, including child abuse. LA prosecutors say they are currently searching the Chocolate Factory. A spokesperson for Wonka has released this statement: "Mr. Wonka loves children and has dedicated his life to bringing children joy. This fact does not make him a pedophile. We fully expect Mr. Wonka to be cleared of all charges." Wonka is currently free on $1 million dollars bond.